Play it again

This has nothing to do with running. Well it might. It could. Wait, it doesn't matter.  What does matter is that I dedicate this post to Yohn who had to put up with me for so long. 

I'm a chronic song-repeater.  When I hear a song I like - no, LOVE, like really really love - I tend to play it over and over and over (and over and over, much to the dismay of people I have lived with).  If you were to go into my iTunes and look at my songs in order of play count, you would probably find a handful of songs with astronomical play counts, while the rest sit anywhere from 0-5. Those are the songs that I have fallen head over heels for, the ones that spark something inside my soul that says THIS SONG IS AWESOME AND FAR SUPERIOR TO OTHER SONGS WHY WASTE YOUR TIME ON OTHER SECOND-STRING, JUNIOR VARSITY MUSIC.

I think I can trace this back to the 6th grade when I became obsessed with "Build Me Up Buttercup".  I heard it at the end of There's Something About Mary and couldn't stop thinking about it.  At that time in my life there were no iPods and my CD collection consisted of Hanson, Spice Girls, and All That: The Album (which is awesome, check it out). The only way my 11-year old brain could figure out how to satisfy my need to listen to it was to watch it on some primitive music video viewing ..thing on VH1's website because I had not mastered the art of downloading music.  I can remember the very moment when I discovered that I could watch the video online, the happiness that filled every crevice of my brain, the smile that spread across my face.  It was like I was breaking a fast and eating everything in sight, except in this case I was filling my insatiable desire to listen to this song that I had been deprived of for so long. So I played the video. Over and over and over. When I went off to summer camp where no electronics were allowed, I sang it. Over and over and over. And when I finally got my hands on the soundtrack to There's Something About Mary (which is awesome, check it out), I played it over and over and over. 

WATCH IT AND SMILE AND BE THANKFUL FOR HOW 

EASY IT IS TO LISTEN TO THE MUSIC YOU LOVE

Fortunately, or un-, this habit has stayed with me since.  I can remember trying to catch the song of the moment on the radio so I could record it with my tape player.  I would then spend the next several hours playing, rewinding, playing, rewinding - all the while cursing that half of my time was taken up by overshooting and trying to find that perfect spot where the song started. Thank goodness for the 21st century for allowing me to continue my fixation on single songs wherever I went. 

College saw Perfect Gentleman and Poker Face climb my iTunes play count chart (until one of my roommates titled a facebook album "I'll cry if Jessie plays Poker Face again").  And lately it has been Blurred Lines -  by Robin Thicke, feat. T.I. and Pharrell.  I just.cannot.stop.listening. These songs are laced with crack.  I have found that the only way to stop this monster is to let it run its course, something I'm totally okay with.  I listen to the song on repeat and eventually I'm not listening to it as much anymore and it winds up in the land of overplayed songs, AKA my running playlists. Which brings me to another point..

Running is my outlet for listening to songs over and over and over without embarrassing myself or annoying others.  I once did a run only listening to Africa (will forever be on repeat).  So there - my secret's out. And let me finish by saying sorry I'm not sorry that I listen to songs on repeat.  

On running and injuries and coming back and being smart and including too many "and"s in my title

Until spring of last year, my short little running career had been injury free. As an avid new runner, I read every word of Runners World and running blogs, and I knew of the range of injuries that lay ahead of me. And I was waiting. But all that reading did little to prepare me for when I actually faced my first injury.  I found myself frustrated and convinced that I would never recover and I would always be running with this twinge of pain. But LO AND BEHOLD, with rest and smart recovery/return to running, the pain disappeared and I ran a marathon that fall.  

Which brings me to winter of this year.  Coming off of a successful marathon, I did not want to see my current level of fitness decrease. I think this mindset made me push myself more, when I should have been taking it easy post-marathon.  I mean, maybe not, but I'm on a self-critiquing binge right now. So. Long story short, I had a pain in my calf muscle that came and went, would disappear when I was running, but sometimes not! Would sometimes stick around after a run, sometimes not! Well when it finally got too painful  to continue on a run (okay, I should have made this decision sooner) I decided to take a break and get rid of the pain.  

And taking a break did not come easily.  I would get antsy after a day or two of not running and hop on the elliptical. Or take a spin class. And I would do this for a few days, attempt to run again, and be in shock when my calf still hurt.  I wanted to have pain-free runs. So, hopefully you can see where this is going, I went cold turkey. No exercise, nothin. For five days. (Forgive me for being dramatic, but) Five whole days. Five days where I spent every second wondering if I should maybe try running just a little bit because maybe, just maybe, my calf would be better and healed.  After the fifth day I ran! And it was slow and awkward, but it was virtually painless and I was happy.  

I hope this second time around I can finally learn my lesson.  When I do get an injury I need that rest.  And I will not lose my fitness, but if I do, it's really not the end of the world because I will be able to come back strong.  Right now, I have an extremely positive outlook on my running future (and nothing hinges on how much I blog and what I blog about).  I'm easing back into running. I intend on cross training/lifting a little more in order to mix things up and make myself strong. And my dad and I have signed up for the Flying Pig half in May and the Chicago full in October.  I have a lot to look forward to, including good health and happy running.  

Richmond Marathon and back to it

I did it! I ran another marathon! With my dad!

Remember the Pittsburgh Marathon? I don't. That was probably one of the worst days of my life. It's tough when something you enjoy so much (running) let's you down (...literally).

So I had to get back to it.

And I did.  And on Saturday I crossed the finish line to the Richmond Marathon. There was no PR. Far from it, in fact.  But for this marathon, that is not what mattered.

I came into this race feeling very confident.  I had a phenomenal last 20 mile training run where I felt strong.  The issues from the PGH marathon were far in the past.  The night before the run we had great conversations with other runners during the pasta dinner.  The weather was going to be perfect.  Everything seemed OK. And for the most part, it was.

The first half of the race was great. I kept a comfortable pace, the course was beautiful, and the crowd support was electric.  (Also, there was an english bulldog on the course. Great, right?)  But at around the halfway point I started feeling extremely nauseous.  See that "Jessie" shirt I'm wearing? It's a heavy cotton shirt.  I'm fairly certain the tag even said "heavyweight".  And I'm fairly certain it was heavyweighting me down when the weather and I started warming up.  So midway through the race I unpinned my bib, threw off my shirt (I had a tech-shirt underneath), and started to feel better.  

I still struggled with the nausea.  Miles 16-18 were tough as we crossed over a slightly uphill bridge and I seriously contemplated calling it quits over and over because I do not deal with nausea well. My legs felt fine but I felt drained and, oh, did I mention nauseous? But I could not NOT finish another race.  I kept imagining the silent and disappointed car ride back.  Another race with a shirt I can't shouldn't wear and a medal I wouldn't have.  SO, with the encouragement of my dad I pushed through.  

We kept our plan adopted after mile 13 of walking through the water stops or at every mile marker or, ya know, whenever I said so, and then running a comfortable pace to the next walking stop.  Whether this sounds crazy or not to you, walking through the water stops, especially if done from the beginning, can lead to a faster marathon time.  I read somewhere that marathoners average 13 minute faster times when walking through water stops. And there's this article from the NY Times. And my dad qualified for Boston after walking through water stops after mile 18. But I digress... Eventually we made it to mile 25 and we knew that one final turn through downtown Richmond would lead us downhill for about a half mile to the finish line so I dug deep, or whatever, and sprinted to the finish.  So what if it was over 4 hours, I did it. And I have the medal to prove it.

There were enjoyable parts of the marathon: the bull dog, the (sometimes rowdy!) crowd support, hearing "Dancing in the Dark" during a part of the course when I was really struggling, the cheers for Bob and Jessie during the first half, and of course- the finish.

But I'd also like to take a moment to remember those we have lost: whatever problem kept me from running the pittsburgh marathon & my Jessie shirt. Good riddance. 

alright hip, you win

My running career is on a hiatus.

For now.

The hip pain I previously mentioned has been off and on and I've mostly been able to run through it, until Sunday when I just couldn't.  Even after days of not running. It's really disappointing and frustrating and I know things could be way worse...blah blah blah don't mean to make this super dramatic...but it's tough to see runners out on beautiful days like today and, oh, every other day I haven't been able to run. I have a doctor's appointment today to get the ball rolling on fixing this.  I want to be better by July so I can start training for a fall marathon. 

Until then...

In about 6 weeks, I'll be selling tickets to my gun show. Proceeds go towards my english bulldog fund.

My overly-dramatic post about a breakthrough run

[warning: no pictures. good luck]

After my incompletion of the Pittsburgh marathon, I have had my sights set on another marathon. Hopefully with my dad. Hopefully one I'm able to complete. And hopefully one in which I qualify for the Boston Marathon (NY too! did you know it's harder for me to qualify for the NY marathon than Boston? isn't that weird?).

Getting back into the swing of hard, rewarding running was a difficult for me. Why should I be pushing my body to do something that it clearly told me it was not happy with me doing? (of course, the supplement I started taking was going to help with this...) And I've always viewed running as half physical/half mental, so rewarding runs where I pushed myself seemed hard to come by. My first runs were easy, not fast, but I was sustaining 40 minute runs without passing out, or getting a similar feeling. I could feel myself getting stronger and building back to where I was around the this time last year. I was fortunate enough to be doing this running at camp, which I've always thought leads to magically awesome runs (see? mental.).

Enter yesterday's daily 5 mile run. It was faster, I could feel that. But sometimes when I think I'm running fast, i'm not actually...or I end up slowing a lot towards the end...BUT, to my surprise, I calculated my pace to be one that would qualify me for both marathons! And then some! I was ecstatic when I realized this but MAN! it hurt! How does anyone sustain that pace for 26.2 miles!? Hell, it's still inconceivable to me that elite runners can run a marathon at a pace faster than I can even run one mile.

Regardless, I feel like this was the breakthrough I've needed. All the pills I've taken, the extra strengthening exercises I've done, the mental focus I've tried to employ on every run, got me to here. I know my next couple runs will not measure up to the mental and physical success of that run, but it's all about baby steps. I know that I can, and right now that's going to help me more than anything.

marathon or BUST

Well the marathon didn't go exactly as planned, to say the least. Occasionally on previous runs, I would have breathing problems that would cause me to stop running while I attempted to regain my breath. It was like a mix of hyperventilating and not being able to breathe. Maybe throw in some nausea and dizziness for added effect. It happened on 3 runs but subsequent runs were a-ok.

Enter the Pittsburgh Marathon. Of course I was feeling nervous about the run. But the morning of, my nerves were turning over to excitement. We started the run fine enough but maybe about a mile in I felt the breathing problems coming on. We moved over to the side of the road so I could regain my breath, and continued on. Only, it happened again a short while later. Someone was kind enough to come over and talk me through breathing...in through your nose, out through your mouth...and we continued on. Then around mile 4 I could feel it coming on again, reached for my dad's arm, and the next thing I knew I was on the ground. Apparently I passed out in my dad's arms and he hit me on the back to wake me up. Another runner helped my dad carry me to a nearby ambulance, where EMTs checked my vitals (all okay) and helped me calm down. Needless to say, I wasn't going to finish the race.

Once I was released from the ambulance, my dad and I made the walk back to our hotel. I was frustrated and disappointed. Frustrated that I couldn't will my body to complete the race. Disappointed that I couldn't complete something I was so mentally and physically invested in. At one point I removed my number bib from my shirt and ripped it up before tossing it in the trash. The rain didn't help. It's hard to think that I essentially failed at something I had been training for so long for. Hell, I partially created this blog to help me through the training process! I think you get the idea..

But through all of this disappointment and frustration I can't help but be thankful that I am okay. And thankful that my dad was with me when it happened. And that there were runners kind enough to stop running their own marathon and help me (looking back, I can't positively say I would have done the same thing, though I would like to think I would...). But I can't let myself associate running with disappointment, or even fear. I'm going to get this breathing thing sorted out. I'm going to get back to running. I'm going to run another marathon.

now here are some baby ducks that made me smile on that day:

nerves

With the Pittsburgh Marathon just around the corner, I'm getting more and more nervous every day. I know I shouldn't be too nervous... I've run those three 20-mile runs, I am physically prepared. But mentally unsure! Especially after waking up with a cough yesterday and a wheezing sound this morning. And a lack of sleep last night after a nightmare from watching 3 episodes of criminal minds in a row. But I'm sure it's just nerves. It's gotta be. I don't actually know how much of running is mental, but for me it often seems over half. But then I have days where I feel bad, but have great runs. Or days where I feel great and am really ready to run, but my legs tire after 2 miles, and being mentally tough doesn't save me. Maybe I just shouldn't over think it. And instead, focus on the seventh Harry Potter book that I'm listening to while I run for the fourth time.

yeah..

in the long run...

This past weekend I ran my second of three 20-mile runs in preparation for the Pittsburgh Marathon. On my shorter runs, I'll listen to music, but it's gotten to the point where I know how long my songs on my running playlist last, so I am very conscious of how much time/mileage has passed. On my longer runs, I need something to really take my mind off of the fact that I still have 15 or so miles to go (but something that allows me to be able to focus on my running simultaneously) so I started listening to audiobooks. But on this run, I decided to tune out to podcasts and catch up on This American Life and The Moth. For the most part, it was delightful! Until I got to Anthony Griffith's story on The Moth titled under "Best of Times, Worst of Times". That should have been my first clue. Turns out this was the "one of the saddest stories [they've] ever presented". Yikes. But maybe something sad would really distract me? Long, sad, story short: it's about Anthony's struggle to balance his career as a rising comedian and fathering a cancer-stricken daughter. It is a really moving piece and if you get the chance to listen to it, please do it. It brought me to tears. I was downright bawling. And running. Not a good combination. Two people stopped to make sure I was alright. I tried to blame it on the rain..."the...the...weather...don't...worry..." only it wasn't raining at the time.

Also on my run I kicked a poodle. One of those small ones. It wasn't on purpose. It got in the way of my foot after I yelled "excuse me!" to its owner multiple times and he still didn't pull his dog closer to him on the small sidewalk. It yelped and I'm sure it was fine..probably looked something like this:

...just kidding

Winter takes my freckles away

Recognize these?? :

I don't either. Apparently they're my vitamin D deprived stumps, also known as legs. And they are ghostly pale. Translucent even. All of my summer freckles that made them appear "tan" have faded. I took them for a run since the weather has been downright awesome and they just loved it. They were like "Jessie! It's beautiful outside, let's keep running!" And I was like "No! Gotta stick to the schedule!" And they were like "But how many days will be like this in february!?" and I was like "Noo, it'll be warm soon enough!" and they were like "C'monnn" and I was like "No". So then we went home. Couldn't strain my legs before a big run tomorrow.. Speaking of which, I made the Marcella Hazan's Tomato Sauce that I found on Smitten Kitchen for my pre-long-run pasta.

I had high expectations for this sauce. Smitten Kitchen raved about it. And so did several others. And every word of their raves was the truth. I highly recommend it. There was so much flavor for only three ingredients. It was so good. And easy. Hopefully my long run will be the same.

Never again.

A day later, I'm glad I did it. It makes for a good story. But the Krispy Kreme Challenge is definitely a once in a lifetime thing, as in, i'm only doing it once in my lifetime (probably something my mom will be glad to hear).

The morning was filled with denial and caffeine.

And it was far too rainy and chilly.

We took shelter under a restaurant's awning..

..tried to keep warm and dry

There were all types of people at the challenge

dressed in all types of clothing.

I got to run by these characters.

On the left: barefoot with a giant donut on his head

On the right: not enough clothing

I was greeted at the Krispy Kreme 2 miles down the road

with MY VERY OWN BOX OF A DOZEN DONUTS!!!

my enthusiasm was short lived.

We saw this guy at the start. He was reaall amped up.

He compressed his donuts onto the sword he was carrying.

I think the kid on the left was his sidekick/coach.

By the time I got to my donuts, I was separated from my brother and Taylor, but as I was finishing up, i found Taylor. Don't let his smile fool you - it's masking tears (just kidding...but not really). Note the glaze on my cheeks and hands..i wanted a snack for the road. I went for the eat-3-compressed-at-a-time method and it was quite effective. Jessie 12. Donuts 0.

But we all finished in under an hour.

If hotel check out time wasn't a factor,

Taylor probably would have stayed like this for

the remainder of the day.

And of course, you do it for the shirt.

Challenge Accepted!

Krispy Kreme Challenge. Check!
it was more or less a success.
no more donuts..ever.
more pictures/update later when i can function

I have a gambling problem...

..but fortunately I've come out ahead.

I love to bet. Betting makes life more interesting. For example, I recently bet Taylor a milkshake that Arkansas would beat Ohio State in the Sugar Bowl. Arkansas lost. And so did I. However, we went double or nothing on the BCS championship with Taylor choosing Oregon and me choosing Auburn. Thankfully, both Auburn and I were victorious with that final field goal on Monday night. UNfortunately there was no crowd for me to jump into and I don't have a heisman. ..but I am now one milkshake richer.

Taylor struggled to retrieve the oreo in his milkshake...

The outing gave us a chance to discuss race prep and strategy for the Krispy Kreme Challenge. We decided that we need to log some hours eating donuts (life is rough...) and practice running before and after eating massive amounts of fried doughy goodness. We also decided on a team name: Team I Cicada Krispy Kreme...TICKK for short. and registered.

While the iPhone can do a lot, it couldn't register me for the challenge.

All in all, the night was a general success (General Success! name that TV show...).

February 5 can't get here fast enough!

Let the wild rumpus begin!

...and by "wild rumpus" i mean "marathon training"

124 days until May 15. Don't worry, I won't do this every time.

In more important training news, Taylor and I are in training for the

KRISPY KREME CHALLENGE!!!

The challenge (in Raleigh, NC): Run 2 miles to a krispy kreme

eat a dozen doughnuts, then run 2 miles back. In one hour.

We started training Saturday night with 3 each.

mmm...donuts....

But before we register, we need a team name.

Taylor wants "team ginger". I think he should wear a wig if that's the case.

And mama, just pretend you didn't read this,

I know how much you approve of this goal of mine

This is the world that confronts me

Why I started this baby:

• I got a new camera. This blog will serve as an outlet for the gazillions of pictures I will inevitably be taking. Like this one:

^from my excursion to Great Falls with my mom this past weekend

AND

^the best place on earth

• I run.

Look, there I am running the Philadelphia marathon (my first marathon!) After that, my dad and I signed up for the Pittsburgh marathon in may. Training starts tomorrow. My hope is that this blog will hold me accountable throughout training.

• I just started following this blog (thanks Annie) and we are obsessed with it and it inspired me.

• It's life i believe in! So I'm sharing my life. [via machine? rats.. ]